I am glad the city of Phoenix was able to get a little snow.

But I didn’t need to worry about staying out to see it because I will be going to Minnesota soon and will have a great abundance. 

I want to blog something meaningful

I want to do something meaningful.

mehhhhhhh....

Disney reminds me that I hate laugh tracks =(

no sé

meh

to attempt or not to attempt

AMNZ

Blatherings of a joyful tired boy. (P.S. 1 year to go before I am officially no longer a teenager)

So yeah… I really love when people are pursuing God. It makes me super happy. I kind of see people’s lives as a line on a graph. x-axis is time and the y-axis is something related to our relationship with God, or maybe faithfulness. It really doesn’t matter what our y-intercept is, but the main thing is that we have a positive slope. Maybe someday I’ll draw my little graph, but this small description is rolling through my head right now.

Well today at family Christmas we went around giving our new year resolutions, but with a focus on prayer, and what our family members could pray about for us. It was really encouraging. There were some common themes such as laziness and lack of proactivity that needed to be worked on, but overall I loved seeing my family (this is my maternal grandparents and all there descendants) seeking God’s will in their lives. I am so blessed to be part of such a great family.

I always want my focus to be on God’s will, but in particular I want to use my time for God with his direction. At college there are so many good and fun things to do, but my plans pale in comparison to God’s. So with my limited time at school (and while at home too) I want to be doing what is most pleasing to him. So that includes how I spend my weekends, what church to go to?, club or ministry involvement?, track participation?, what bible studies?, what role video games will be in my future? I don’t want my next semester to be as uneventful and purposeless as the last month-ish of first semester was. So please God, pull me on track. This is not something I can do on my own. Te necesito todo el tiempo. 

Also pray that I shine to all those around me during these brief 2 weeks left in AZ. I want to make the kind of difference that pushes people toward Jesus, the kind of thing Christians should be focusing on I suppose. So yeah.

I hope everybody is having a fantastic time with family or friends to celebrate our Savior’s birth. It is so AMAZING that God fulfills his word and saves us all. It should be something that blows my mind really, but the full impact just doesn’t always hit me like it should.

A final note before I go to sleep on this couch as all my siblings are in the same house (a very special and rare occasion for us all to be together) is that…. uhmm… oh… forget but remembered but never mind. Good night world. (to think people from the around the world actually read this, bah! I guess it is just a phrase) 

silly computer not changing time zones

Thought I missed my flight when I looked at my computer and see that my plane was supposed to be in the air in 2 minutes and look over and see the boarding line is gone, but turns out I still have another hour. It is all good.

Most terrifying 1 1/2 hours of my life!

I hope I don’t have to do that again.

Snow

So it has been a few days since the blizzard and now there is snow everywhere. The very top is a little harder than the rest so you can grab a 4 inch chunk from anywhere and the underside is like the best snow cone you have ever had. ever. So fun feeling on the tongue. Now I just need some flavored syrups.

But tomorrow I leave and will be back in Phx at about 1. No snow for 3 weeks. Sad story! I wonder if it’ll keep in a bag in my suitcase….

shhh... don't tell anybody

I am kinda breaking a rule. But it shan’t matter in 12 hours.

So yeah, one of the best gifts ever. My bud Derek made this for me and so now my ears will be warm!!! I love it. (Though I think it may actually be the one he wore around, and that made me at first feel bad because I felt like I stole it, but it just shows how awesome he is to give up something so awesome!)

You can’t see it too well, but this is my wonderful birthday gift from a dear friend. It is an awesome polar bear with one shoe off. Relates to an inside joke.

So it took me forever to start this paper, but once I got going I was unstoppable!

Not to say it didn’t take a whole lot of time, but I think I am fairly happy with it. Not struggling as much as I thought I would to keep it down to 4 pages. Maybe slightly redundant, but not too bad. I went with the obvious theme of God’s sovereignty, but didn’t want to focus on the Messianic themes. idky

Why do I crave distractions?!

P.S. I have a runny nostril and a watery eye. What in the world is in the right side of my sinuses!! 

P.P.S. I will be up late writing a paper that goes over the Prophetical books while adding in a chapter that kind of ties the whole Old Testament together. And it can’t be longer than 4 pages. oy!

no quiero hacer tarea

over

the 8 days of Chanukah ended two days ago. All my classes ended today. This year ends soon. My ability to stay awake is rapidly diminishing. Need to spend time in the Word. 

Dex, say Hello to Kim

the17club:

misskimbuhleh:

There is a boy in Minnesota who has the same Buzz Lightyear cup. In the words of his best friend and my new best friend, “SUCCESS”. 

Success.

Sweet Success!!

So, lots of homework tonight

pero mi discurso en español fue bueno. Gracias Dios.

Spanish=stress

Loving my Ohio Chanukah gifts

so thoughtful. :D

Wow, this town is so small it is in parenthesis.

Gus

-Psych, Dual Spires

Some of the most amazing photos ever.

Link: Some of the most amazing photos ever.

There are several photos there, and then you can got to a different week and get a whole new set! Will make awesome desktop backgrounds!

Okay, this may look like a potholder, but this is the yarmulke that I will be wearing when I open my Chanukah gifts!! It started yesterday so I opened 4 today because I got them a day late. It was such an awesome surprise when I went to the mail center to pick up a package from my Dad, and then someone pointed out I had TWO packages! It was from Hallie and Emily! my Ohio friends. I hurried back to Naz and opened them up. I was literally jumping for joy! When I opened the package from Hallie/Emily, I opened the card and saw the number 8 and Chanukah and I got thrilled out of my wits. (I don’t know if that expression will catch on, but I kinda was). Thank you so much friends for helping me celebrate God’s greatness during Chanukah.

Tired

Yeah, So my hair is getting a little poofy. I have gotten so really genuine compliments, and I have gotten a lot of “you need to cut your hair.” Also, I didn’t realize how slow my facial hair grows. Maybe the cold air is inhibiting its growth.

My one consolation is that if I am unable to apply, then some one more deserving will get the scholarship and everything.

Decisions catching up to me. Stupid me.

ugh....

My Spanish minor may be costing me $50,000.

Powdery snow is just the best.

I love being able to experience all of these new creations God has put on the earth.

the17club:

Bringin’ back the flannelgraph.

=)

the17club:

Success.

David = hypocrite

Are relationships treated as games?

I don’t know… I never got the whole deliberate flirting/making-a-move thing. (btw, this isn’t in reference to any of my own relationships, don’t worry people who feel they should be privy to such things) I just think it makes it easier when friendships turn into ‘relationships’ with out making things more complicated. I am sure I am coming from a naive perspective. I seem to be decent at knowing when a relationship shouldn’t happen, but not so much for when it should. (Don’t worry, I’m not on the prowl) Well since it isn’t about me, or any one in particular, I won’t start worry about it. I’ll walk that path when I come to it. Or maybe I’ll run it. Or tread. Skip?

You should pray

in particular for a buddy of mine who is not doing well. He has been pretty ill with puking since before school started and now a cold.

A plus would be some revelation from God. It is always beneficial.

I don't only want to live in the light, I want to reflect the light

like that one city on that sunny hill

12 hours of sleep!!

Is this because I am still sick? It better have been needed cause now I have homework to do in 4 hours less time than expected!! Arg

Riiiing!!!

This has been my right ear since Thursday night. But I don’t mind too much. Ignore my occasional complaints because it really is a reminder of God taking away the pain in my ear that was causing me to fall to the floor in pain. It is a reminder of his faithfulness and love towards me.

Now if this persisted for over a month I may ask God to keep the pain away AND take the ringing away, but until then, thanks for relieving me of my pain so I may function and please help me to function in a way that pleases you.

Really lost all motivation for school

I just want to go back home and see everybody. And then sleep all day. And do stuff.

This week

Sunday: Beginning of soar throat
Monday: fever, headache, chills, loss of appetite, hurts to swallow, napping
Tuesday: fever gone, Rest, rest,
Wednesday: Soar throat, beginning of coughing
Thursday: Soar throat, occasional coughing, congested, squeaky voice, about an hour of grimacing ear pain [thank you God for taking it away!! I took a hot shower and some drugs. For awhile I was sitting in the tub, randomly shouting when the pain would peak, and adding a little salt to the shower water. It finally subsided. It was just ringing for awhile, but I think is now gone. (I found out when I will randomly hear a high pitch and then it just fades away, that is me losing the ability to hear that pitch for the rest of my life!!!! SO SAD!!!)]

Overall, a good week. I feel bad for being a bit antisocial. Especially distracted when I was in pain. Not very good company at those time. I learned that pain takes away appetite. =( sad story when on a meal plan.

This cough prohibits deep breathing =/

It is so hard to get out of bed when the bed is so warm and the room so cold.

That is why God made bathrobes.

bleh

I hate soar throats

uniformresourcelocator:

owentillman:

woah,…

/mindblown

AHHHHH!!!! CRAZZZZZZZZZZZY

I REALLY want to do something like these. So hilarious!

SNOOOOOOWWWOWOWOWOWOAHH!!!

I love the snow!! Thank you Jesus!! I nearly slipped and died like 5 times.

noneofthatchavvyrubbish:

Life is busy.

Yeah, I said it.

I’ve come to a realization that it will never Not be busy.  

a busy life => time goes by faster

faster time => sooner death

death => Jesus

thus, a busy life CAN bring me closer to Jesus.

missflower:

Contextual, effective, metric measurement.

And the other side has even more!! Unfortunately, only the first one can be made out. äs many grains of flour as people on the planet (6.7 bn)

PBI=Principals of Biblical Interpretation 

NT=New Testament

Spa=Spanish

____

Second Quad PBI will turn into  Comp 2, and New Testament will be Personal Responsibility. Relationships and Linear Algebra are 3 credit classes, so I think they end half a quad early, which will make the last few weeks a bit easy so I can prepare for finals! Add in 8-10 hours of work (and maybe a little Track) and that will be next semester! Woot.

Just 'cause it is good, doesn't mean there isn't better.

I kinda look Jewish when I wear this, especially since most people are from a view lower than me, and so it looks even more like a yarmulke (yamaka). The plus of this, aside from people asking me if I am Jewish, is that I just got asked to play a small role of a Jewish financier in some student film! Fun!!!

Thank you Lord for putting me here at Northwestern. Continue to challenge me. Thank you for the awesome guys here. Thanks for ‘coincidently’ having me go to that prayer meeting/study thing that one night.

ripped my nicest pair of jeans. Lost most of my appetite. Sad.

Lord, make me a better person.

I want to have the heart of David, one after your own heart. A heart for all people.

Today

I used up so much time catching up on One Piece, while slowly multi-tasking and planning out next semester and kinda the rest of my whole core-curriculum classes. I find planning so enjoyable. It is kinda like finding the fastest point from A to B and then having satisfaction that I’m not going to be using up more time than necessary.

I really felt like just staying alone earlier today and not being social. Well it wasn’t as much as the being social part, just the putting in of effort to have a fun time. A friend who is super busy wanted to do something fun tonight and I felt like I had pressure placed on me to make her night good and not just another study night. So I almost completely blew it off but realized that wouldn’t be good. I ended up having a great night and didn’t have to work hard or anything, things just fell into place. Great night with lots of friends.

But Lord, I feel so lost sometimes. I may have my classes planned out, but where do sports and work and church and clubs and ministry fall into this?! What am I going to put my time into!!? Help me Lord. Help me put more time into you (and sleep).

Is today's image pulsating, or is it just me?

Link: Is today's image pulsating, or is it just me?

The x-ray one

Today is a 25-hour day!!! Sweet!!

but that means there will eventually be a 23 hour day…. sad story!!

How do I deal with this?

I have never loved/enjoyed any team so much. Now, maybe this is dramatic, but would this be similar to people who have their first relationship and then they have trouble letting go, because they don’t know if it will ever happen again? I missed the last meet today because of stuff and it made me pretty sad. This is pretty much the end of the XC season, and I do and don’t want the end. It is a lot more bitter than sweet. What is a few extra hours of sleep everyday in comparison to time with amazing people? Now some of these feelings are probably due to the subconscious thought that these relationships will die w/ XC. It sounds like I need a dozen donuts. haha, jk, but really, I would love to eat some Krispy Kremes right now. (I hope that I really don’t link Krispy Kremes with anti-depression/happiness) Anyways, I need to pray for comfort and direction. All changes are opportunities to grow, opportunities to grow closer to God. Along with this, I need to determine if I want/should do track and then XC. Prayer, prayer.

Why can't everybody just have integrity?

What will I do to forget about myself and love others?

This question is pointless unless I come up with an answer.

HAHAHA

I am just so.... happy!!

"Spektor also tipped off listeners that she has begun to pen and compose a Broadway musical that should be out in 2011 or 2012. “I love theatre and I love old musicals like Sound of Music, Mary Poppins,” Spektor said. "

Not only is she creating a musical, she loves Sound of Music and Marry Poppins!!! I love those movies. 

Owl City covers "In Christ Alone"

Link: Owl City covers "In Christ Alone"

different, but very encouraging to see his faith.

Dissapointing failures

Link: Dissapointing failures

greaterthings:

Dads suck

Now obviously not all of them, but man have we dropped the ball as a gender. Like honestly, where do we get the idea that we can just up and leave? Or the notion that financial support is the…

When reading the books of Samuel and Kings I noticed that they all pretty much sucked as fathers. Even the greatest King in Isreal’s history, David seemed to raise at best a mediocre son who turned his heart from God and then had other apostate children. In the OT, people seemed to raise their kids similar to how birds raise their chicks. Just feed them until they are old enough to fly, and then let them take off without a second thought to their character. That is the only thing they consider. Now you could point to the spoils of being princes as partially corrupting them, but that is not an excuse. After seeing such failure, being a father seems very daunting. Definitely not a thing to take lightly. I need to prepare myself if this is what God has in my future.

It is starting to get chilly! Need to find some winter gear. I marvel at every bit of weather, and the Minnesotans just don’t know how to appreciate it.

Weather is only gloomy if you let it be gloomy. Rejoice in all of God's creation. Find something extra cool in the grey days!

I would sleep through this morning's snow!

And it is very difficult to type when my fingers are super cold. I should probably invest in gloves

Spring Course Schedules are up!

kenleigh:

Can’t wait to meet with my advisors tomorrow so I can actually put mine together!

I’m such a nerd.

I really enjoy piecing together the “perfect” schedule each semester. Actually participating in that schedule usually gets a much less enthusiastic reaction. But I enjoy the puzzle-like process of it.

I just hope and pray that spring schedule works out as well as this semester did. If I can get this semester’s schedule, minus the night class, that would be fantastic. :) But I have to take 15 credits each semester to keep my scholarship, so I figure that’s not likely. But we’ll seeeeee! Woo hoo!

I know exactly how you feel. I can’t wait to plan out next semester!

Scars...

Dear Lord, there are some lessons that I have learned from past mistakes that I don’t want to have scars from anymore. It seems like these aren’t fading. I thought they were, but boom, there they show up again. Lord I hate these scars. What they are, what they remind me of. Have I actually forgiven myself of these actions? Is that a Biblical teaching? I know God forgives me, but must I forgive myself. I feel like I should, but I don’t feel that I can. Lord, work in me. Melt me, mold me, fill me.

oh, that makes sense, kinda

I just found out last week that the reason people buy new clothes is because they are tired of their old clothes. From TV and stuff I knew people, especially girls, liked to get a new wardrobe and throw out all their old clothes (hopefully an exaggeration of regular life?), but I never considered the reason why. I get new clothes on birthdays, Christmas, and when my mum would take me to the store. Outside of that, it is rare for me to get clothes unless there is a specific event or purpose for them. But people just get tired of their clothes. I guess it makes sense, but it is still a little odd for me. I don’t want to catch this feeling of dissatisfaction with my current clothe set. Why should I get tired of my clothing. It still fits, it still serves its purpose of keeping me comfortable and covered, and outside of some orange stuff, they don’t look terrible on me (I don’t think so at least). But thank you Sunny for showing me the reason behind people’s compulsions to get get new clothes.

Shuttle

So I’m waiting for the shuttle and they say 10 minutes. Call back in 15. They say 10 to 15 mins. Call back 15 mins later. They apologize and get there in 10. Finally I am able to join the team at Perkins. I am not blaming the shuttle, or bashing it even, it was just a series of events that led to me sitting on the curb for 40 minutes as I waited for the shuttle. It was 1 o’clock and I only had a cookie and had biked and was getting hungrier and more impatient. (I found out I can easily slip into emotionality and depression when I am hungry) Instead of getting upset, I took joy in the challenge God had presented before me. There were no serious consequences of me waiting, just a little lesson in patience. So that made me happy.

And while I was waiting I was reading Job and needless to say my small dilemma was nothing compared to the problems of Job. So that was a little humbling. It is so easy to get upset over the little things (especially when hungry), but I have got it good! Plus, this was a little answer to prayer. I asked God to help challenge me, and although it sounds trivial, I almost let myself get really peeved. Thanks God for the challenge and for the perspective.

Live intentionally

but without forcing out spontaneity. Pray for guidance

I wrote earlier of patience, but I want to clarify that there is never too much patience on God, only that we shouldn’t be too patient with ourselves, that we should be pushing ourselves to new heights. A strange mix of not being complacent with ourselves and being content with all that God has given us. Hmm…

Misguided patience

"Strength will rise as we wait upon the Lord,

We will wait upon the Lord

We will wait upon the Lord

Strength will rise as we wait upon the Lord,

We will wait upon the Lord

We will wait upon the Lord”

I think I let patience take the place of action. I have been stagnant spiritually. I don’t like it. I seem to have remembrances of messages talking about those dry spots in our walk, and that they are to be endured. Patience is definitely necessary, but what if God is waiting on us? We ask God, what should I do? and we wait, and wait, and wait, and do a bunch of other stuff while waiting and get distracted. (When I say “we” I am talking about myself. Don’t worry about it) I think the walk with Jesus is much like a sport, in particular a running sport. If we keep doing the same old thing, we adapt and plateau. The bar needs to be raised higher and higher. We need to let God challenge us, but we also need to challenge ourselves in pursuing God and in doing his work.  Challenges are necessary to grow. People always say they grow the most when they go through a valley/drought/ challenging time. Let’s stop waiting for God to really change things up and throw some hammers ourselves into the gears. Waiting does not normally mean standing still.

Obsession

I want to be obsessed on God, not bread. Porqué estoy concentrado sobre las cosas irrelevantes.

Caves

greaterthings:

I like caves.

There are so many cool aspects to a cave. They can be explored, they possess hidden treasures, they are grand and beautiful. 

But right now I like them because they are dark. There is no sunlight in a cave. They are long, capable of disorienting. They can be narrow and tough to squeeze through. 

I like caves. I wish I could be in one now

agreed

10-10-10

so much wholeness today. Thank you God for numbers.

Yay!

To Save A Life for the second night in a row.

Yay! weekend!

Which Movie?

I am hosting a movie night at my place for XC. I was originally going to choose To Save a Life. I love the movie, but it is a little less applicable out of the highschool setting and into a Christian college. Still love it, but… idk.

So either stay with that movie to spread its goodness or just choose some comedy like Hot Fuzz or a running movie like Chariots of Fire, Steve Prefontaine: Fire on the Track, or Without Limits.

1600 miles away from home, 30 minutes away from college, 1 hour of being absolutely lost in some forest/neighborhood

I eventually got found, since I am here and all. But it was quite the experience. Lessons learned:

1. Don’t trust myself. 


2. Listen to others


3. Run with the group (don’t be injured)


4. Don’t trust people who say that they got lost too.


5. Mailmen are smart and kind (female ones too)


6. Trust God


7. Thank God

I love that Rahab is an ancestor of Jesus. How awesome is that?!!!!

YES!

I really love Tenth Avenue North a bunch more after having met them. I worked backstage for their concert. Them and their crew are so awesome. They had a John McCain poster cutout which was hilarious and scary sometimes. Anyways, awesome concert, awesome people. Tyler and I were sitting in the seats during the sound check and Mike (lead singer) was walking through to get a little closer to the sound guy, and 2 seconds later when he was walking back he apologized for having accidentally farted just as he walked by. What a great sincere guy. Famous or not, I held my breath for a few seconds. Anyways, they are such a Christ focused group (along with Addison Road and another band who I forgot the name of).

One thing that lead singer girl for Addison Road was talking about was how God really didn’t follow her plans. This got me thinking about how there are always those times when life is out of control and it just sends us back into God’s arms because there is nothing else we can do. I’m going to backtrack a sec, but just hang on. In church today at Hope Community the message was mostly on sin and other stuff and was overall really good. One thing that I have been recognizing to work on in my life is just daily dying to my own desires and putting God first. I get so pumped and focused at chapels and stuff, but back in my dorm room I just lose it all. So connecting this back to losing control, maybe God is just sending wakeup calls. So using the analogy of us being the driver of our life, Jesus/God/Holy Spirit is sitting there in the back seat. He is always there quietly giving us direction/advice. But day to day as we travel our normal routes we just kinda block him out and tell him, “Don’t worry, I know what to do.” After awhile we keeping choosing our own routes wherever we go and God is getting a little ticked. So he lifts his pinky a mountain rises up directly in the road. We are so confused and lost we instantly turn to the back seat and seek his advice. (okay, I am not saying that God causes all our problems, but he definitely doesn’t stop them, and for good reason) So maybe we need to listen up a bit more. God has some great detours planned for us, but we just like to turn up the radio, read the billboards and ignore Him. God has such a better future for us, but He also has day to day steps to get us where we need to be. Watching Family Guy isn’t going to enrich my life. Playing through all my video games isn’t going to make me grow closer to the people around me (possibly under rare circumstances). So David, when you have such little time in your life, start focusing on what is the right thing to do, not the okay thing. For although watching TV or movies are not really considered sins, I believe it can be as much a slap in the face of God as lying, cheating, etc.

2/7 of depression symptoms are probably held by most college students

• you can’t sleep or you sleep too much


• you can’t concentrate or find that previously easy tasks are now difficult


• you feel hopeless and helpless


• you can’t control your negative thoughts, no matter how much you try


• you have lost your appetite or you can’t stop eating


• you are much more irritable and short-tempered than usual


• you have thoughts that life is not worth living

Drive Theory

I lack stress. This is typically thought of as a good thing in this stress crazed culture, but stress is also necessary to perform well. In XC, in school, everything. How can I cause my self to get more stressed? 

Rearranged the dorm room. Giving my Wii to my sister. Who knows when I’ll be playing Smash again… 

But it isn’t the top priority so who cares.

Breathe, Angels and Airwaves

This is the song that I would like to change up a bit. It could so just be a praise/worship song or change it another way and it could be applicable to non-married couples (under the assumption that others are honoring a commitment of purity). I just really love the “Did you know, that I love?” I just love love =)

A blue-black shade of love, sent from above.
My hands are tied, two worlds alone, and this I know.
Your breaths like wine, and just like clouds, my skin crawls.
It’s so divine, the sky it glows with fields of light.

Did you know, that I love you?
Come and lay with(dwell in, live in, consume) me, I love you. 
And on this day, I will love you.
You make me feel alive, and I’ll love you, 
until the end of time.

My hands shake clasped with fear, as you come near.
To say goodnight, just like a dove, a peaceful sign.
To help us by, as you come in, let this begin.
Stars fall like dust, our lips will touch, we speak to much. (didn’t think out this one yet)

Did you know, that I love you?
Come and lay with me, I love you. 
And on this day, I will love you.
You make me feel alive, and I’ll love you, 
until the end of time.

Did you know, that I love you?
Come and lay with(dwell in, live in, consume), I love you. 
And on this day, I will love you.
You make me feel alive, and I’ll love you, 
until the end of time.

I’ve got a lot to say, if you will let me.
It’s always hard, when you’re around me.
But here right now, there’s interest in your eyes.
So hear me out, and hear this the first time. (not altogether bad, but could be tweaked)

That I love you, come and lay with(dwell in, live in, consume) me.
That I love you, and on this day.
That I love you, you make me feel alive.
That I love you, till the end of time.

I really wish I could just change a few words in songs. Sure it might change the intent a little, but if I could just change 2 words then I could love the song so much more! It could be so much more wonderfully applicable to my thought process and life.

I never thought I would actually enjoy the thought of writing a paper!

Thank you Lord.

Everlasting Song Writer Geniuses

Link: Everlasting Song Writer Geniuses

Both Regina and Sufjan made it on!!!

I love Google!!

oh crap. TV shows are back in season. What am I going to do with my Hulu queue!!?

Do I make intimacy tough? Am I only responsive and never the initiator? Sounds a little one sided =/

odd, I have been thinking it the other way around. That I need to grasp with my heart what I already intellectually know to be true….

My reading of history convinces me that most bad government results from too much Government.

Thomas Jefferson

I am ready for Humans vs Zombies to be over. I have enjoyed it, but I am just too distracted =/

I need to love more

kenleigh:

Dear God,

Thank you for creating onions. They are delicious.

…………………………………………………………………………………….

Dear Future Spouse,

Sorry, babe.

agreed (I changed it to make it gender neutral)

Make a careful exploration of who you are and the work you have been given, and then sink yourself into that. Don’t be impressed with yourself. Don’t compare yourself with others. Each of you must take responsibility for doing the creative best you can with your own life.

Galations 6:4-5

My mum is famous

Link: My mum is famous

I am so proud of her. (Watch the video on the webpage)

Pray for my family

My Great Uncle Abe has been diagnosed with Leukemia. Doctors have given little time. I know God is in control. We do not know His plans for our lives. He knows our first and last breath.  I pray for peace and comfort and our Lord’s love to shower down. 

My Oma is having health problems currently, including kidney failure. She is nearly 100 years old and I pray for God’s will and for comfort. Comfort for her so that she may be at peace without pain, and comfort for our family, as we prepare for the possible sending away of our loved Lena Braun to Jesus. She is such an incredible person. I really want to drive 2 days to go see her in Canada right now and give her a big hug and just listen to her and be with her. But I can’t. I haven’t seen her in years, but I am happy that I know Jesus is with her for me. She too is comforted by the Holy Spirit. Oma, I love you so much.

I learned this information earlier this week over the phone, and just took it. No emotion. I often just process things as matter-a-fact. As I finished typing the above paragraph, I just broke out into tears. I moaned and cried, sending my prayers up. It really surprised me. There was no one around, and then I just longed for someone to hug, I longed for my sister, for all my family back in AZ. It was a good cry.

I really don’t know the last time I cried… Take me God. Melt me, mold me, form me, fill me.

Worship with Lyrics

I really love worship songs! Really really do. And we have a Praise Chapel every Friday, but this one we didn’t due to other stuff. So bummer, and now I am not going to church tomorrow. Well since I know I don’t need a whole band and crowd to praise my Savior, I started looking up songs on Youtube and singing along. And then I remembered I have a Newsboys worship album, so I popped that up in Winamp while looking up lyrics online (1st website got blocked by school filter. Those lyric websites are so tricky!). That was going fine, but I started getting distracted by the looking up of lyrics and wasn’t focusing God with my time, so I knew that Winamp is opensource meaning people can make plugins/addons, so I looked up Winamp lyrics and within 30 seconds had a plugin that not only provided me a box to put lyrics with songs so I didn’t have to look them up every time, but it automatically filled in the lyrics from an online database! Amazing! I can edit them need be, but it works great! I set the lyrics thing to full screen and it changes with each song, so now my praise chapel is in session. I love singing to the Lord. I just need some more praise and worship albums now!

What to do?

I am so incredibly busy. The amount of commitments I have may not be something (pause, need to do something that should have been done way earlier as it is a higher priority.) that is too much for other people, but I seem to need so much sleep. So I have had little to no time for homework, let alone much else. XC is a high taker of time, and then working is another 8 hours a week. I got 30% (give or take) of my Spanish homework done last week. That is a TERRIBLE start for this semester! I am not going to church tomorrow in hopes I can get all my homework done tomorrow. Lord knows how easily distracted I get (I mean that literally, He really does). So keep me in your prayers. I need to make a commitment to keep my priorities straight. I need someone to help keep me accountable! Jesus, you are there, why must I need others for accountability when I know you are constantly there, watching and hoping I do the right thing? Well for starts I am making a commitment to not go on FB this week. I didn’t go on Hulu last week, but I did for over an hour today, which maybe was too much. So we’ll keep with that too. No Hulu. No FB. No TV/movies (unless it is with other people Friday night/the weekend). I just boought To Save A Life. I love that movie. Did I blog about it when I first saw it? idk, I’ll probably watch it sometime and blog about it.

Sorry, this completely lacks organization. It has been awhile since I have been able to think at all. This really is the only way I can get my thoughts out. Writing works too, it is just a lot slower.

Due to this entire lack of time and going to bed between 9 and 11 every night, I really haven’t bonded with my roommates. I feel bad, they sometimes invite me somewhere, but I either turn them down or am just never around due to classes and XC. What little HW I do during the week, I do it in Riley to get away from distractions. 

Little secret here, but I still haven’t paid for college. I am here as a student pretty much asking to get reprimanded. I NEED to send in my loan application! oi! 

I need to get back to making daily task lists with everything that needs to be done, and things that I want to get done. An easy way to keep myself on track. Thanks Aunt Becky.

Espíritu Santo

It is great knowing that when my strength and energy are at their limits, I have God to lean on. The Holy Spirit is there inside me, a flowing river, a rushing wind, an infinite amount of power waiting to explode is resting in me!! Thank you Jesus.

God likes humor

Likes to throw me into little panics where I turn to him. I lost my wallet, but my captain had it the whole time. Oy veh. God’s little reminder of what is important.

No tengo tiempo para pensar

The Christian Train

I really liked this analogy. It compared humans to trains. What some people call freedom to do what they want, just leads to destruction, going off the rails and into a terrible wreckage. We were built to be on tracks, so following Jesus is when we are truly free, free from destruction, free to go really really fast.

kenleigh:

murdershewrote:

wewereraisedbywolves:

lovekeanu:

I tried forever and then realized that Safari wouldn’t show it. And today’s point goes to Firefox!

hahaha! I posted a link to it before this popped up! And you should know that Safari is an automatic fail =/ 

Google is still amazing

Link: Google is still amazing

Must do this today to see it. It’ll even work if you jiggle the window!!

Knowledge is seeing the paths, wisdom is knowing which one is the right one, integrity is taking that path.

God has been here the whole time

God set things in motion. I often thought that it would have been an interesting thing to have skipped a grade when I was younger. And there was also the possibility of graduating early. But if either of those things happened, I don’t think I would have been ready to come to college. I am not the same as I was 1 year ago. There are some things I could not have appreciated, and other things I could not have handled. Thank you Lord for watching over me this whole time. May I learn to lean on you all the time.

why do I feel so emotionless

exercise does help. 

I’ve never been in a serious relationship. Not with anyone, not with God. As I start to learn more about You Lord, I realize how much more You should be in my life. I want to grow, I want to learn, I want You to be my all. I just don’t know how to do this. I have never done it before. Lord, put all my heart in my search for You. Help me put complete faith in You alone. Bring me to Your presence so I may bathe in Your glory Lord. I just want more of You. 

In what ways do I fail to fear God or give him the respect he deserves?

In light of knowing that I belong to God, what in my life should I change because it doesn’t please him?

I love God, the Lord over all.

Finally!

Math became fun again. Calculus was being such a bore, but now I remembered what made it more interesting. I mean, sure there are certain parts of it that can be fun, but what I really enjoy is helping others/working with others. At one point in senior year (well actually for most of it), my only motivation for doing homework would be so that I could be knowledgeable enough to help my peers. It gives math a purpose. I am so glad I am not majoring just in Mathematics. Engineering is giving math a purpose. Education would have also been a suitable direction, but Bluffton didn’t offer that either. Thank you God.

Silly Psychoanalysis. (I was trying to make analyzation a word and even added it to my computers dictionary thinking I was correct, forgetting the word analysis.) Oy! maybe I should just act how I do and stop thinking of what others observe…

Though, that seems a little naive. That might be an easy way to get into sticky situations. In a Bible study down in Sierra vista, the topic was about being beyond reproach. For such considerations, it was generally agreed that a person in a relationship shouldn’t go out to eat or whatever with a person of the opposite gender, because if someone were to see them, it might appear as if that person was cheating. A Christian should attempt to not put people in those situations so they would never even be questioned about it, and thus: being beyond reproach. I seemed to think this was a bit excessive, at least for pre-marriage. If I have a good female friend, must I always make sure my special other is along for the ride? It seems a bit cumbersome and odd to me. 

Now I have really gone down a rabbit’s path (I am not completely sure if that is the phrase). I need to get back to work. Or at least check on my bread. Or start scheduling some Skype conversations.

All end on this note, male or female, I would love to be your friend.

I love hearing the bread maker kneading. So wonderful.

Voice

Reading Mack’s final paragraph just reminded me of how I always got marked down in the AIMS writing section due to my lack of Voice. Maybe I just don’t have it, or my voice is very academic, but for whatever reason, I don’t, or at least didn’t, have good Voice in my papers.

Easily influenced.

Somebody from outside MN asked me why I had a MN accent since I am from AZ. I have started to notice it even about a month ago. I have been in MN for nearly 2 months now and it comes out sometimes, depending on how I feel, or who I am around, idk. For whatever reason it comes and goes in different levels. Though when I typed “goes” it came out very heavily Minnesotan in my head, so that may be representative of how much it has affected me.

This may show how easily influenced I am. Maybe other people are like this too, maybe not. But I think it can illustrate the importance of the choice of where I put myself, or what I do with my time in general.

With this in mind, I am glad I am at Northwestern.

Thanks God.

The Christian call to take risks, witness and sacrifice for others is muted, she says.

http://www.cnn.com/2010/LIVING/08/27/almost.christian/index.html?hpt=T2

Really one of the saddest, but truest, articles.

Am I already changing?

why haven’t I been photo crazy with everything like I expected myself to be? I haven’t even changed my profile pic yet to something of me at Northwestern…

I feel like there must be some psychoanalytic value in this phenomenon….

P.S. NW rolled over is MN, and Northwestern is in Minnesota!!! I realized this when I saw a ball with MN/NW on it.

Sometimes, you just need time to think.

Too bad I haven’t had any of that time yet. I feel like I could spend the whole weekend just in devotions/reflection/journaling (btw, my blogs are pretty much my journaling). 

amazing.

that was God is. So much stuff with college right now, but in my devotional, a few days ago, it prompted me to fast from complaining. That very day I was planning to post about a complaint I had about other freshman.

[ cloud overview | get your own cloud ]

This is a Tumblr Cloud from my blog posts between 2008 and now with my top 20 words.

Now let’s analyze… I blog about pretty people who do stuff at night. My life is consumed a lot by school and college. Kenleigh says some amazing stuff and is a good friend. I maybe do a little of my homework, if I feel like it. I love to spend time doing and saying stuff about amazing persons.

Well actually, it seems I talk too much about 

College=Tired

mostly ‘cause of XC

Amazing Day

Thank you God. I love Northwestern

Woah. Tomorrow it all starts.

On a sad note, I left my bible and devotional book at my aunt’s.

looking in all the wrong places

What is limiting me?

What is keeping me from loving with all my heart, all my strength, all my mind? 

Limits

Immersion

When I was baptized at some earlier age (my parent’s thought I should wait till I was a little older, but I said I was ready, but now I feel it wouldn’t have hurt to wait so I could remember it better and understand more), I had to decide between anointing and immersion (aka dunking). I thought about the symbolism of these 2 things and I didn’t want to be dunked because it was more popular, so I kept thinking. After a few days I picked dunking because I really liked the idea of being completely surrounded in God, my whole body, my whole life.

I haven’t thought about it again until recently. Last night I accidentally fell asleep for an hour and a half then woke up and went to bed an hour later. I wasn’t able to fall asleep and finally looked at the clock and it was midnight. Well I didn’t fall asleep for a little after that, but during that time and maybe a little before my nap, I felt really at peace. I seemed to have a good idea of what I should do to get back on the right track. Well since it has been awhile and I have been squandering my time on Starcraft II and buying textbooks (thank goodness for campusbooks.com) I have seem to have wandered away and forgotten it all except for one thought, immersion.

I chose immersion cause I wanted to be surrounded by God. God is ready, he is a still lake waiting to be rippled. To immerse is a choice, a daily choice. If I want God to surround me, to be in every breath I take, entonces tengo que comer y respirar la Palabra (I have been working on my Spanish too). I have this awesome devotional book, but am not using it. Then because it is set up in weekly segments I only start on Sunday and start over again next Sunday if I miss a day. I’m thinking it is just an excuse to not do what I know I should. 

I have a problem with procrastination. I seem to desire doing everything but what I know should be done (right now that would be: devotionals, reading the Bible, studying for SPA2101). It isn’t too difficult, but I make myself dread the necessary. I work best under a sense of urgency, but with God, I don’t seem to feel it. He is always there. I have known of him since I was little. I know he will be there at the end of the day, waiting. Why do I sit here, knowing what needs to be done, but not doing. Finding some distraction to free me from thoughts of responsibility and necessity. Is this my latent rebellious stage? I don’t do it because I can choose not to. Make myself feel like I have control?

“I don’t really understand myself, for I want to do what is right, but I don’t do it. Instead, I do what I hate.” Romans 7:15 NLT

It isn’t always hate (I usually enjoy playing StarCraft), but sometimes it is.

Lord, “I want to be holy, set apart for You, my master, ready to do you will.” I say that I want to immerse myself, my life, every minute of my day, but I feel a tinge of pain or something in my chest when I say that. I feel like inside I don’t really want to change, I don’t want to give it all up. Why do I feel this! Help me Lord.

I have 12 bug bites on my right foot

imagine the rest of my body!! ARG!!!!!

Speaking of nature

The lighting was absolutely amazing. After getting out of the late showing of Inception (an amazing film) we were driving away in the rain and a giant lightning bolt shot through the sky and lit the whole thing up like it was daytime for a good solid 3/4 second. If you think of lightning, then you know that is a long time. I wouldn’t be surprised if there were 3 of those giant bolts all around us causing it to light up in such a way. It was amazing. Thank you God for the amazingness

nature, God's great reminder

A question in the devotional book that I just advertised asked, “How do I see God through His creation?” Now I bet an entire book could be written on that question, but I am only capable of so much.

I was sitting on the back porch when coming to that question and I was able to watch a squirrel about 15 feet away on the nearby tree by the porch steps and a rabbit about 20ish feet away. They both were kinda startled when I walked on the porch causing them to freeze, but after I just sat there for a little bit, they resumed their business of eating the fruits that fell off the tree. On a side note, rabbits are incredibly fun to watch when eating, moving there cute whiskers all around as they nibble away.

Anyways, I began to think about the circle of life thing that is so popular in Disney movies and other cultures. I am not really thinking on the side of our death transferring into new life, but how all life is connected. I guess not as much like a circle, but more of a web, a web of relationships. When I look at God’s creation, in this case nature, everything is connected. I see this as his reminder to us that we are meant to be the same way. We aren’t a meaningless speck flying through space, we are to be trees with root systems (with 10 to the 10th connections ;P) sucking nutrients from God but intertwined with each other all the while (hopefully) producing that fruit of the spirit. But then again, I didn’t really answer the question yet. Oy veh…

How do I see God through creation? the answer for me is partially what this week’s devotional has been themed about, creativity. God is so genius and creative, and he does all this as part of his love. God’s creation shows me that He is love, He is creativity, He is love.. The beauty he has provided is part of what shows us that he loves us. I am kind of scatterbrained right now, and not being able to say what I want, pero no es importante. I see nature as this giant reminder for so many things. And why would he put so much effort into it if he didn’t love us? No hay un razon.

Another question asks, “What can I do to see God more often and more easily?”

I first think of: staying in his word, appreciating the beauty around, including the beauty he puts into each person (which would be an easier way to get along with somebody), and sing some good ol’ hymns! 

"The Grad's Guide to Time with God"

My favorite devotional book so far. I really like how it is structured.

This was an encouraging email response when I woke up at noon this morning.

 

I noticed that the UofM is ABET accredited, but Northwestern is not. Since I am in the Math/Engineering Dual Degree program, will this affect my ability to go into an engineering career or get P.E. Certification?

Thanks, 

David Ingold

____________________________

David, 
  Good question.  The advantage of the Dual Degree program is that you will get two degrees: one from Northwestern and one from the U of M.  Doing the Dual Degree program through Northwestern can only help your career and future certification because:

   1. Northwestern graduates more Dual Degree Engineers at the U than I believe any other school does in Minnesota. 

   2. The U actually prefers students who go through Dual Degree programs because they are seen as having a better rounded education.

   3. Northwestern students are consistently at the top of their class when transferring to the U. 

   4. Northwestern students are getting excellent research internships before going to the U. 

  If I were a student interested in a Christ-centered education and wanting to do engineering I cannot think of a better choice than Northwestern.

-(from my advisor at Northwestern)

I don't want to continue to waste this day

NINJA!!!

It is because of action that we all are saved, and because of action that we all know we are saved.

Ryan: Prayer simply isn’t enough…

I want

customizable Skittles bags where you can pick the colors you want.

5 days

1999 photos

1 Great camping week

My family is awesome.

Keeping Spanish

It is a lot of money, but being jobless is more lost money. Speaking Spanish can really open up the possibility of a job.

Another Blog?

If this is my life blog, I wouldn’t want to overload it with photos… though I guess I already put most of these photos on Facebook…

but I was putting a bunch of photos in collages that way I wouldn’t fill up an album too quickly, and some of them deserve a full size viewage.

I really like this one.  I would like to give it some meaning, but my brain is dead from lots of volleyball and Ninja.

Went to the fireworks. Took these photos. 1 downside of Minnesota: Mosquitoes.

Ezekiel 13:3

"This is what the Sovereign LORD says: Woe to the foolish prophets who follow their own spirit and have seen nothing!"

Why do I think of America (not excluding myself)…

I hate how awful I am, how Godless I am.

Why have I not turned my path around before? It doesn’t matter. There is only 1 thing that matters.

All the psychoanalyzing in the world is pointless without God.

Spanish Minor

is it actually worth it? I am thinking no… but.. idk.

Well aren't I posting a lot out of the blue.

Anyways, I don’t know which way I should decide on friend requests on FB. It may sound like a silly thing to worry about, but there are a couple of options and probably some I haven’t considered.

• Friend only those people who I plan on talking to and/or keeping in contact with. (including distant family I see every 3 or 4 years)


• Friending anybody I barely even know (will not pick this option)


• Friending those who I am on good terms with and have had a conversation with and it wouldn’t be bizarre to talk to them again, or too weird to post something on there wall. Even if some of their status updates would be completely out of my interest cause I haven’t seen them in a year or so.

What should I do?

Today, I drove 2-3 hours straight.

and I wasn’t even pushing it! Could have gone on for quite a bit. This was quite a bit improvement from the previous day which was but an hour and a half-ish.

Obviously I am not good at driving for long periods of time…

Thank goodness for naps and a good sleep. I love this road trip. My grandparents are awesome, and I get an awesome lush backseat for naps when I don’t drive. Plus I get to control the music when I want. Lots of Adventures of Odyssey, and then between piano, Newsboys, Relient K, Regina Spektor, and other randomness or worship stuff. Tomorrow I arrive in MN and get to see my fam!

Long distance relationships?

Do they work? I have been thinking about this. I have a dear friend who I only have seen once in the past year (in person). We had a good, brief, lunch. But staying in contact is difficult over distance. oh, BTW, I am talking about simple friendships. Though simple may not be an apt word. I have other great friends that I am leaving behind in Phoenix/Tuscon. Will these friendships crumble into the past? I have always been very nostalgic and is my desire to hold on to people as trivial as holding on to old objects of the past? Sounds harsh, but isn’t there a limit to how many people you can have a real relationship with? Sounds un-Christian too. I can care about everybody, and love them too, but having a relationship with them is impractical…

No se. Apart from these relationships, there is a more important relationship I need to be working on right now. 

Another +/- attribute

I can fall asleep anywhere in pretty much any situation if I am tired. Makes road trips pass by very fast. But this is very bad when I am operating a vehicle. Driving doesn’t keep me awake. Music doesn’t remedy the situation for long either. I have once actually started into a day dream while driving. Albeit it was for less than 6 seconds, but that can be extremely dangerous. Often when I am tired and am trying to stay awake, my eyes will go out of focus. This would sometimes occur in church when it was nearly impossible to look at the preacher for longer than a second without him duplicating or fuzzing up. The best thing I can do to counteract that is to change my focus between background and foreground constantly. Well this eye problem has also occurred while driving, though not as bad (probably due to the moving road and stuff, so I can easily keep my eyes moving around and active). 

Luckily for me, this road trip with my grandparents is going well and I don’t have to drive that much. They are both experience drivers. I will not have a car in college, so I will just have to worry about falling asleep in the library or something.

P.S. This is really only a problem when I am by myself, cause talking (a conversation) is enough stimuli to keep me awake and alert.

My disconcerting relationship with excitement/anticipation

I don’t really know if it is really disconcerting, but I can get easily excited for something new and cool, and in relation to future events, that is when I’ll plan it all out like I did with my freshman college classes, but after that, it is simply an acceptance of future events. People ask me if I’m excited for college, and I guess the answer is yes. I am looking forward to this new experience, but I don’t feel excitement. If I were to talk about it now, it is more matter-of-fact. 

I think this is also related to my ability to not stress. Even if something bad is coming, or a deadline or whatever, I simply accept it and don’t freak out. This can actually be bad in relation to school work. Maybe good in that I keep a level head, but I wouldn’t find the urgency or need to accomplish my work. I would think, “I have put it off. I have this much time left. I will work for so so minutes and go to sleep cause I am tired. I will receive lower grade in morning.” Where is the urgency, the need to do what is better?

Anyways, this attribute has its positive and negative effects, but I seem to only be feeling the negative ones… A level head is over rated.

And BTW, stupid high school relationships!

Not only do I hear of stupid hs drama in the last 2 weeks of school, but now that school is over, I thought, yes! I am done with silly stuff. But no, a good friend of mine who is a year behind got himself into a relationship that finally (and painfully) ended after a month. Guilt caused the relationship to start, and guilt kept it going. And guilt that was stupid and shouldn’t have been created in his mind. Anyways had quite hours with him and another buddy helping him get to the point of breaking up, and then another couple of hours dealing with her afterwards. Not directly, but through him away (in Skype). Oh the silly terrors of stupid relationships! Just stay friends and people don’t get hurt! Arg.

Well I did graduate.

So life has been busy, mostly with seeing people before I leave. I leave at the end of this month. There is at least 1 reader who hopefully reads this that I would like to see before I leave. If you have spare scholarship $, I am here for yall.

brookandlyn:

iescapism:

“Professor Philip Zimbardo conveys how our individual perspectives of time affect our work, health and well-being. Time influences who we are as a person, how we view relationships and how we act in the world.”

We watched this lecture in AP Psych! Good memories. Zimbardo is awesome. And this is so true.

B, B+, A-, and A:My worst GPA ever!!

kenleigh:

ledbest:

me & mr.foster !!

he is the best teacher in the WORLD

i challenge you to find someone better.

gonna miss him :((

Better? MRS. FOSTER. Oooohhhhh! What now Lindy?!

haha, that’s what I was thinking! Mrs. Foster is the bomb.

Today

was good. Went to Cody’s Executive Style Party and dressed like Ulysses Grant. Bummed around. Worked on Graduation stuff. Went to Hallie’s. Not all of that was in order.

If friendships are put on a scale with other friendships, do the older ones usually win out? Idk. It is weird to have a history with some people but never have really gotten as close to somebody you have barely know. My brain is weird. Sometimes I wish I didn’t think and things would just work out. Necesito usar mi tiempo con una cerebra inteligente.

I want to see the actual pictures from this event. In fact, I don’t have the more pro photos from either Prom =(

kenleigh:

I hate when the dentist numbs my face to do 20 minutes of work and then my face stays numb for hours after. Hello Monday!

I tried to do it without numbing. So not possible

I just had to unfollow somebody. They just had too many posts. I couldn’t keep up, even though the posts were really awesome, it just blocked out everybody else.

kenleigh:

I feel like I am the only student wanting to vote no on Prop 100. haha. I feel like such a rebel.

"Please remember to vote on Tuesday. Without this proposition, the PV district alone faces the loss of AT LEAST 57 teachers, the elimination of the elementary band and strings program, a 50% loss of funding for middle and high school athletics, a continuation of the salary cut from last year, and much more."

We may be switching to AT&T because my parents want iPhones.

kenleigh:

Upside: iPhone

Downside: paying for an iPhone

Downside: I was excited to get a new phone this week after waiting for the last 5 months to get a new one. And I really like the model I was planning on getting.

Downside: I have to make my crappy phone last 3 MORE MONTHS until our contract with Verizon runs out. Seriously, this will be taxing seeing as it dies in like 2 hours if I actually use it (i.e. make calls, text), I can’t open the inside screen all the way, and it randomly stops working from time to time. Plus, now in addition to internally breaking down, it is breaking apart on the outside too. As of tonight, it won’t quite close all the way.

Upside: iPhone

I have yet to decide if the pros outweigh the cons.

Look into getting an android phone. Google is awesome

I saw this picture from ordinary-sensible and right above it was this post:

brookandlyn:

Would you rather go back to a dial-up modem or get slapped across the face 5 times every single day for the rest of your life?

Speed matters, at least with computers.

(via ordinary-sensible)

A beautiful idea.

Power strips

Why is the button so sensitive. It should be able to withstand the force of a foot without turning of itself and my computer. arg

Uh...

Our Calc video is due Monday morning, and we have no idea what to do…

+/-

kenleigh:

The plusses and minuses system at ASU is possibly one of the most nonsensical systems I have ever seen. I do not think it is AT ALL logical that if someone gets straight As that they would still get lower than a 4.0 GPA!! It is so absurd. Teachers, please stop giving me A minuses! It is throwing my GPA off its lovely pristine track. I mean, I am thankful for the A, don’t get me wrong. But if my GPA doesn’t even reflect it, what’s the point?

oh yes. That system. My cousin has it in Indiana at his high school. I am so happy it wasn’t at PV, cause that would totally ruin my GPA and ability to slack.

Woohoo!

Yummy

Yup

Early

Went to Krispy Kreme from 5:15-6:50. Worth it. Hung with the Liu’s and said hi to the Hallman vehicle. 1 dozen for $2, and a free donut. Best morning ever

In disguise

You think the devil is dressed up in dark red suit with a pitchfork? No, of course not. He is all beautiful and shiny and good looking, the prettiest angel, Lucifer. Well you think that wickedness and immorality is outright unappealing? No. It may be super awesome and spectacular and amazing, but it is tinted with evil. I think this most applies to music and movies. It may be hilarious, genius, excellent, but it can still be essentially wrong and given caution, and possibly avoided.

Can't refrain from analyzing

Contrary to the last post, I am not judging others, or at least trying not to ;), and I really did have a great time at Prom. Good food, good people, hopefully good pictures. Fantastic night. Though, really can’t beat epic slow song dancing.

Call me conservative, but

I cannot get my head around the whole grinding thing. Well, before I go on, I have always considered grinding to simply be when one person has got their trunk resting right in between the other’s legs. Most people in my group were grinding moderately, and showed a little discomfort at some other stuff that was going down. For one thing, I think it kinda shows a little laziness on the guys part. Yeah you have to keep in tune with the girl, but it isn’t really dancing. It seems to really just be a form of sexual arousal. And then if you say sure it is appropriate to do with your boy/girlfriend, but then most people go and hop on other people, maybe 2 at a time. Some guys weren’t comfortable dancing unless they found some girl to grab from behind. idk, I just don’t really grasp it. If anybody wants to enlighten me why this is a socially acceptable thing, then go for it.

Went to Prom solo and had a blast

kenleigh:

dexhere:

Just couldn’t find anybody who compared to last year’s date.

Wow. This person last year must have been pretty cool…like best prom date of all time. I mean, that’s just what I’m inferring from this post. haha.

I think you hit that spot on. A perfect inference. This person is pretty much absolutely amazing.

Went to Prom solo in a group of 18 and had a blast

Just couldn’t find anybody who compared to last year’s date.

Behind on sermon uploads

but caught up on sleep!

Best Office opening EVER!!

Link: Best Office opening EVER!!

Oh yes, Iron Man 2 will be considered a victory for AP tests being done. YAY

Iron Man 2

Going to see it tonight. Hoping for good seats!

My eye is better now. That was weird.

My right eye is seeing double

It is very annoying. It is like everything has a shadow. I don’t know why. Hard to read.

Why can't I remember

that e^x is the sum of (x^n)/n!

that 1/(1-x) is the sum of x^n

that cos(x) is the sum of (-1)^n(x^2n)/((2n)!)

that ln(1-x) is the negative sum of x^n/n

mackenziemyfriendzie wins!! It was indeed Uno. 

Can anybody tell me what cards I am holding in my photo?

Good email forward. Though I didn't check the math.

 Ever wonder about those people who say they are giving more than 100%?
What equals 100% in life?
Here’s a little mathematical
formula that might help.
If:
A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z

Is represented as:
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26.

Then:
H-A-R-D-W-O-R- K
8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 = 98%

&
K-N-O-W-L-E-D-G-E
11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 = 96%
But,
A-T-T-I-T-U-D-E
1+ 20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100%

AND, look how far the love of God will take you 

L- O- V- E-O-F-G-O-D

12+15+22+5+15+6+7+15+4 = 101%

Therefore, one can conclude with mathematical certainty that:
While Hard work and Knowledge will get you close, and Attitude will get you there, it’s the Love of God that will put you over the top!

brookandlyn:

I went to church today for the first time in months. And to tell you the truth, sitting there with my fellow churchgoers and watching them embracing their passion for God with their arms and hands held high, I felt nothing. nothing. I felt empty and a little out of place even. I don’t know what’s happening to me. I’m done with being part of a religion. I’m being foolish but I don’t want to be catergorized under ’Christian’ anymore. I just want to be a faithful follower of Christ. I want that fire for Christ back. I’m trying my best to be more genuine. Clearly I need some guidance becuase I’m one very confused child.    

Romans 12:5 (NIV) … so in Christ we who are many form one body, and each member belongs to all the others. 

1 Corinthians 12:27 (NIV) Now you are the body of Christ, and each one of you is a part of it.

Hebrews 10:24-25 (NIV) And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds. Let us not give up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but let us encourage one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching.

I am not here with all the answers, but we need each other. For me, part of that is going to church as a way to fellowship. Although I may not feel that I need to go, sometimes other people may need me.

I never understood how physical gestures expressed anger. Giving the bird really means very little for me.

Just read the captions. This is from the Wall Street Journal. The best thing about it is, “The accord passed.”

Yo soy un idiota y un bufón

Regina's voice is sweet like sugar, and I love sugar

kenleigh:

“If I was to throw a party where all we did was play monopoly, would you guys come?”

—

-Hayden Christensen portraying Stephen Glass in Shattered Glass

Seriously, Monopoly anyone?

I LOVE MONOPOLY! Though Risk is good too. And Settlers. And Ticket to Ride.

I am as bipolar as Hamlet

Naps are so good.

Took a one hour nap that prolonged my evening by a few hours.

I might feel like deleting my last post

but I am not going to. Maybe that was just the post short nap delirium. Maybe I am crazy and should stop typing right now and do my homework. Maybe this day needs to end. Maybe I should do my devotions.

I'm tired.

Ever feel distant? Like maybe things should finally be going like you wanted them to, but then its just off. You don’t know if it is you or they. Am I a stuck up fool? Just an idiot? I think I prefer… neither.

When I go off to college everything will be new. New everything. I thought that I would be okay with this, because I was always very independent, but it was really just being anti-social. Going into middle school I was just focused on my studies and planning the future. I had no real friends in school, but I don’t think I cared or thought about it. I talked to certain people and maybe went to a few things every once in awhile, but no real connections. Going into high school it was the same. Cross Country probably opened my horizon a little, but I was still not part of a group. Always a misfit occasionally there. Sophomore year was very similar. Junior year XC was starting to be a family, and Academic Decathlon was another family. Made dear friends. Had good times. Senior year I continue the raise of socializing while my studies decline. I have become dependent on people, but I know I still lack typical social awareness, never really knowing how I place with somebody else. ‘Is it an open invitation to also go to In-N-Out?’ ‘Am I a close friend?’ These questions of self-doubt end up in the safe path, not opening myself. I am hidden under a shell of self-questioning. I used to question every action or word being truly afraid to open myself at all, show people who I am. I am pretty much past that, but people accepting me and having a connection with me is two different things. Social acceptance is a that free sample at Costco that just makes you crave for more. Any person who I feel I can share with is pretty much out of contact. Life happens, stuff happens, distance happens. But now I think I am on a tangent. Well with all this pondering, I am going to college where I get to start over. I look forward to meeting my roommates, and I don’t dislike the idea of meeting new people, but there is a complete apprehension that I don’t remember ever having. Life was simpler and easier when it was me, my homework, and a few responsibilities here and there.

Sleep

or actually the lac of. I only got 6 hours last night, which may seem like not too bad, but when you compared it with how long I was awake, then it makes it terrible. Normally I am awake for 16 hours and sleep for 8, but this time I was awake for 18 and asleep for 6. That is a ratio change from 1:2 to 1:3. I guess that isn’t really horrible, and I may just like to look at these numbers and feel it is a big difference. But I am pooped. I was so loopy and slap happy during school today. I was off topic and insane. I want to get to sleep, but it won’t come until I start my homework, with my luck at least.

I can only find my security in God

Friends, tools and toys

This is related to my earlier post on confrontation. Today’s sermon was partially about accountability, and how we can be accountable for what our brothers/sisters (in Christ) do. I have talked to somebody about this and was actually trying to talk to them about one of their struggles, and they related how if/when their friends have the same problem, he could care less. I think this attitude is pervasive throughout society. For most problems and issues that are friends have, we just say, “It’s their decision,” or “It’s their life, they can do what they want,” or even, “That is just who they are.” For us to really have such an apathetic approach to other people we must be super cautious about offending people, or we don’t view them as real friends. As a friend, shouldn’t we care about them? Are we not to try to prevent them from stumbling? I mean, we aren’t necessarily responsible for what they do, but we can try to help them. If we don’t care about what our friends do, they are either tools for our own purposes, or they are merely toys for our enjoyment. Is this why people’s relationships mean nothing? We don’t care about their well-being, their future?

I am particularly talking to Christians here. We are full of sins! Why is there not more confrontation!? I don’t think that I am trying to take blame off of myself by blaming others for not telling me of my own errors and sinfulness, but I know that I am oblivious. I need to pray to God to melt me, mold me, fill me, but Christians are a community for a reason.

1 John 2:

 ⁹ If anyone claims, “I am living in the light,” but hates a Christian brother or sister, that person is still living in darkness. ¹⁰ Anyone who loves another brother or sister is living in the light and does not cause others to stumble.

Till Outline do me death.

Orange is not my color.

Now this may at first seem to be a negative note, but this is really a very positive thing! Well, orange not being my color is not inherently a positive thing, though it is a good thing to know, but what it represents is something that brings me much joy. Philippians 2:4 says: “Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others.” To me, this represents the necessity of complete honesty. Personally, I desire what some may call confrontation, but is really just talking frankly sometimes. [This was related today during tutoring, when I would correct their grammar and spelling when writing the questions on the board and one of the girls was about to have a meltdown because I was correcting them.] Anyways, tonight I went to the Liu home bible study and after hanging out afterward, I took off my sweatshirt due to the heat, and I was wearing this orange shirt with stripes underneath. The instant I took off the sweatshirt Hallie proclaimed “Orange is not your color.” I was momentarily shocked, due to the fact that I really give little thought to clothing, but I really admire Hallie’s honesty. I tend to find that many people are unresponsive to constructive criticisms, or dislike confrontation. Personally, I invite it. How can we improve and change if we are ignorant to our fallacies? People may like to think that we just need to accept how everyone is, and that may be true to a point, but accept it: We are human; we are not perfect; we can improve.

Now from experience, seeking out personal imperfections is not the best thing to do when depressed and self-loathing. Also, I think I tend to be unobservant in many things, and may not always be the most responsive to unspoken hints or signs, so I strongly support just asking. Luke 11: ⁹"So I say to you: Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. ¹⁰For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened.”

Thank you Hallie for being who you are.

R Yhu Serious!?

First off, apparently middle schoolers text “yhu” instead of “you.” Obviously this makes no sense. The h button is all but a cm closer on the keyboard so I really don’t think it makes a difference. They were actually quite surprised that I didn’t type it as yhu.

Amidst the attempt at a AVID tutorial, somehow I got asked something along the lines of “Do you get hot girls?” I asked what he meant by “get” as this was a particularly vague word. The response was something like, “You know, get.” This stumbled onto one of the girls adding, “Like friends with benefits.” I forget what my response was. It must have either been a dead stare, a sarcastic repeat of “friends with benefits” or a “Are you SERIOUS.” She promptly informed me that he has friends with bs, and she does, and the 2 other girls at the table do. I was thoroughly disappointed. When asked of my own friends/hot girls and such, I answered somewhat straightly that I have many friends that are girls, but definitely no friends with benefits (my abbreviation, not theirs) and have not gotten anybody. I want to just pound some morality and logic into their little heads. Unfortunately this was not the time to be discussing anything like this and the bell rang. What possess these little kids to do these things! They are also the most gossipy girls I have ever heard. At least when I was in middle school, I am pretty sure they at least made some form of a more solid relationship than friends with benefits. It is really saddening. I wish I could do something.

Dex(ter)

brookandlyn:

Haha, well thank you! I’m actually amazed that you’re still reading my blogs, must have taken quite some patience! And to answer your ‘how did I find you’ question, it’s rather hilarious, really. I don’t remember whose blog I was looking at, but someone reblogged one of your posts and I really enjoyed reading it, so I went back and found your page and checked it out. I like that most of your blogs are about your life, realized that you were a keeper, and clicked ‘follow’. I just really enjoy reading what you have to say. The end. Guess it wasn’t all that funny.

Btw, I don’t see a reply button anywhere on your blog :O   

Well, I am really flattered. I believe now there may be some type of reply feature, assuming you are on the dashboard. I think this means that only the person who is replied to sees it, opposed to a blog or reblog. And I think that is pretty funny, though I feel I may have been letting you down in the past 2 months or so, because I feel they are much shorter and shallower. And to be honest, the main reason I first followed you was because you followed me, so I figured, hey I’ll check this out. Needless to say, I never regretted the decision.

If the reply button is now there, I made that occur in the preferences and under one of the tabs if anybody cares to know.

Grr...

I completely went over to Winamp from iTunes, but now I found out Winamp doesn’t convert into MP3 unless I buy the pro version!

Psalm 2-plans

 ¹ Why are the nations so angry?
      Why do they waste their time with futile plans?

… (Stuff about not going against the Lord or his rulers)

 ¹⁰ Now then, you kings, act wisely!
      Be warned, you rulers of the earth!
 ¹¹ Serve the Lord with reverent fear,
      and rejoice with trembling.
 ¹² …
      But what joy for all who take refuge in him!

-I am glad I do not have to fear God. But I do have to worry about wasting my time with futile plans. There plans may have been futile because they were going against the Lord, but mine can potentially become futile because I do not know the future, so they may never come to fruition. This is difficult because I love planning. Really really love it. In 7th grade I planned  out my entire high school schedule. During 7th and 8th I also started analyzing the differences between various math majors at Northwestern College and attempted to decide if I could double major and still fit in a Spanish minor. Both my high school and college plans have changed over time, but I made informed decisions.

Well if you read a couple blogs back I referenced my appreciation for song lyrics. I realized Psalms is also full of beautiful imagery and great themes and the like. I “knew” this before, but never really realized it I guess.

Psalms 1 (NLT)

 ¹ Oh, the joys of those who do not
      follow the advice of the wicked,
      or stand around with sinners,
      or join in with mockers.
 ² But they delight in the law of the Lord,
      meditating on it day and night.

-How often do we delight in God’s law. We may appreciate it, understand it, but rarely do I see myself delighting in it. And why shouldn’t I? I don’t know. No good reason not to delight in it.

KTLA filmed me kicking a tree in my backyard

brookandlyn:

And why was I kicking a tree? I don’t know. I was a wild child on the loose, out looking for some adventure. I don’t exactly remember why I was kicking a tree, but I do recall a helicopter passing by as I was being a ‘rebel’. Anyways, I went back in my house, and my mom was in the living room watching tv, and she looked up at me and asked, “Were you just outside kicking a tree?” Rofl. I was on tv for like 10 seconds. Feels good man. 

That is probably one of the most amazing things I have ever heard. You should definitely try to get a copy of that footage.

Though acting out the final scene in Hamlet was really fun

Thus I don't like Hamlet.

I don’t like tragedies. Hamlet is a tragedy.

Hope to not bother any readers (however few they are), but I really appreciate songs lyrics and enjoy posting the song and/or limited amounts of lyrics to either show whats on my mind, or just whatever.

=D

Whatever happened to a passion I could live for
What became of the flame that made me feel more
And when did I forget that…

I was made to love you
I was made to find you
I was made just for you

…
You were waiting on me
And you said you’d keep me
Never would you leave me

I was made to love and be loved by you

…
Anything I would give up for you (nah, nah, nah, nah, nah)
Everything, I’d give it all away (nah, nah, nah, nah, nah)

Last night's dream

This is what I remember:

There is a large snowy mountain or a mountain completely made of snow. There is sometype of school in/on it. There is a teacher/leader  is giving incorrect teachings to children. (It specifically had to do with incorrect facts/models of the sun, and teachings of two moons) I attempted to correct the teachings, though I don’t remember interacting with the false teacher, so it must have been directly with the children. The teacher put one of the children in danger. Down off the mountain I try to get friends to  help save them. One friend was in heels and I said they might want different shoes, but realized I was in sandals myself. END (of remembrance).

I first thought nothing of it, but it reminded me of a current object on my mind. Thursday night Bible study we watched Bible vs. Joseph Smith. I was given that movie and 2 others (The Bible vs. The Book of Mormon, DNA vs. The Book of Mormon). I watched the first 2 (not the DNA one) and I really like them because they are logically organized and not only analyze the Book of Mormon, but also analyze the Bible side by side. [Due to the preponderance of evidence, it ends up showing how awesome the Bible is and how erroneous the Book of Mormon is.] Well I wanted to show this to both my Christian friends and to my Mormon friends. It has always been a touchy subject discussing religion with the Mormons, but now that I can show such a video full of knowledge that I previously didn’t know, I feel I need to show my Mormon friends. What kind of friend would I be if I knew they were following teachings that are blatantly full of errors, but did nothing.

I started to connect my dream to this desire to help. If my Mormon friends are the children who are being taught these incorrect things, I should help them. But there are parts that I can’t really percieve meaning, but other parts such as the child being put in danger by the false teacher (who I could see as any of the Mormon leaders or the Devil) is a direct consequence of my doings. I don’t see this as a discouragement, but this shows me that I can’t possibly break down their life foundation and then leave. I need to be there to help now and after. Now is the part about footwear saying that I am unprepared, or that I never will be completely and don’t need to be, because I simply need the armor of God. Or…?

As of now, I want to proceed and show this video (obviously with discussion and food) because I would be allowing a lie to go unchallenged. But I will also hope to invite them to learn about the true Jesus Christ. Pray please.

I really really want to play CODMW2 right now!!

But I said I wouldn’t =( What to do? What to do?

I So Hate Consequences

I have been out of my routine. Things getting a little crazy and such. One big reason is the PS3. It has been awhile since I have heavily gamed, and it is truly an easy way to spend a few hours. I have been disregarding the more most important aspects of my life. It appears that I was waiting for some consequences to bite me in the butt, because it finally took that to wake me up. I spent this afternoon playing COD MW2 and then took a little nap, due to my previous late night, and left for bible study regardless of the speech I have yet to type and homework I have yet to write. I went, had a great time, don’t regret it, but what I do regret is that I had to leave right after the main study to go back home and work. These are people I really only get to see on Thursdays if I go, and haven’t seen them in weeks. Departing early made me incredibly sad. I just hated these consequences of my poor decisions. It took this, what may seem to you readers as small and silly, to point me back in the right direction, both with my school life and prayer/devotional life (though the latter has slowly been progressing from its previous stagnant state). I want to make a point for at least the next 3 weeks only play a video game if it is socializing with somebody I already know, meaning I must be playing with somebody else. I have to much to do for hours of wasteful entertainment. Cold Turkey. This time should turn into sleep as well, thank goodness, cause I am tired. But that of course will be after I face the consequences of tonight.

Good song by Relient K. I listened to it 3 times in a row and will listen to it again tonight.