Not physically, but I have just lost all energy to do anything. Emotionally, mentally, spiritually? I don’t know…
I am prone to look to sleep and media to get back to normal, but I know that God is my source of strength. But seeking His will, His way, is what brought me to this state? When things actually matter, it is incredibly draining. If all my pursuits were just superficial then nothing would affect me. It’d all brush by. So I know if I go on my knees before God then I will find living waters, but I feel like I can’t even muster enough strength for a thoughtful prayer. And then if I find rest, then the world will be upon my shoulders again. But, it is not my burden to bear? But it seems like nobody else does…
I felt like all my efforts were in vain, that I am working and praying all for naught, with no lasting results, nothing that will outstay my summer here in Roseau. But then randomly during work, I got a text with 1 Cor 15:58, “Therefore, my beloved brothers, be steadfast, immovable, always abounding in the work of the Lord, knowing that in the Lord your labor is not in vain.” Incredibly encouraging. Nearly felt like crying. But I don’t feel like I can labor anymore. I am empty. Oh Lord, I need your help. No puedo hacer nada.
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