"blot out his name from the Book of Life"

hmm…

I am so worn out.

Not physically, but I have just lost all energy to do anything. Emotionally, mentally, spiritually? I don’t know…

I am prone to look to sleep and media to get back to normal, but I know that God is my source of strength. But seeking His will, His way, is what brought me to this state? When things actually matter, it is incredibly draining. If all my pursuits were just superficial then nothing would affect me. It’d all brush by. So I know if I go on my knees before God then I will find living waters, but I feel like I can’t even muster enough strength for a thoughtful prayer. And then if I find rest, then the world will be upon my shoulders again. But, it is not my burden to bear? But it seems like nobody else does…

I felt like all my efforts were in vain, that I am working and praying all for naught, with no lasting results, nothing that will outstay my summer here in Roseau. But then randomly during work, I got a text with 1 Cor 15:58, “Therefore, my beloved brothers, be steadfast, immovable, always abounding in the work of the Lord, knowing that in the Lord your labor is not in vain.” Incredibly encouraging. Nearly felt like crying. But I don’t feel like I can labor anymore. I am empty. Oh Lord, I need your help. No puedo hacer nada.

God loves, heals, redeems...

“And Lucy felt that deep shiver of gladness that you only get if you are being solemn and still.”

—C.S. Lewis - The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe

I just love that quote. C.S. Lewis was a man whose joy was deep and profound and ultimately stemmed from his love of God. Mindless entertainment and constant noise cannot bring about that “certain deep shiver of gladness”.  Being solemn does not contrast to having a good time, it is a means to having a good time. The normal “fun” in our society is so dominant because when people stop moving and seriously consider their reality, they have no joy to be found. But when you know Jesus, you can be serious and be extremely joyful, and you can be silly and playful in a much fuller way. True Christianity that is filled with the Holy Spirit bears fruit of joy that far surpasses what the deadened life can know.

And Lucy felt that deep shiver of gladness that you only get if you are being solemn and still.

C.S. Lewis - The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe

“In English,” Professor Austin said, “a double negative forms a positive. However, in some languages, such as Russian, a double negative remains a negative. But there isn’t a single language, not one, in which a double positive can express a negative.”

A voice from the back of the room piped up, “Yeah, right.”

Linguistics joke « The Diacritics (via katydidkatydidnt)

It’s a lot more vulnerable to step into a big identity without seeing results of it first. I’m learning that’s what faith is.

Kendra